The Art In Being Alone
Author: Ashika Prakash
Editor: Ursula Vollmer
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During one of the hottest days of summer in Spain, I walked in the cool Retiro Park, finding solace in the greenery before making the final visit of my trip. My destination was the Museo Nacional Reina Sofía, home to Guernica, Picasso’s famous anti-war masterpiece.For an art aficionado, this was akin to as seeing Starry Night or the Mona Lisa–witnessing a great piece in person. But this moment felt far more personal, as if I had been waiting for this encounter my whole life.
In my junior year of high school, I was enrolled in a Spanish class that delved deep into the culture that surrounds this vibrant language. During our unit on the Spanish Civil War, Guernica was presented as a symbol of the peace movement and a visceral representation of the suffering caused by the war. Shortly after learning about this, the world was thrust into the chaos of COVID-19. Like many others, I felt confined, both physically and mentally, in a moment where I should have stepped into adulthood. At the time, everything seemed uncertain; college decisions loomed over me and the world was in turmoil. But the image of Guernica remained vivid in my mind.
It reminded me that even in the darkest moments, there is power in reflection, taking account of the circumstances around us and setting personal goals for the future. There is power in doing something for myself. At the time, I made a promise to myself; when the world opened up again, I would travel to Spain and stand before that very canvas. I would have that full circle moment and I would go there alone.
Fast forward to the present day and I had spontaneously booked a ticket to Madrid, planning to spend a few days exploring solo before meeting up with my friends. On my last day in the city, I finally found myself standing before the much awaited art piece that I seemed to have known my whole life. Its massive composition, defined lines, and awing tourists all encapsulated the experience for me. I realized that this wasn't just a bucket-list item checked off, but a reflection of the years of personal growth and self-discovery that I had been through.
Feeling lost is a normal experience in life, but it's in these moments of uncertainty that give us the opportunity to find ourselves. Sometimes it's through art, travel, or quiet reflection that we begin to understand who we are and where we want to go. Eeven though I was alone when I saw that canvas, I felt simultaneously one with every other single person in the museum that day. We were all there for a reason. And no matter how distinct or seemingly unattainable something we want may be, occasionally being alone allows us to move forward even when the path ahead is unclear.
And as I left the museum that day, the world outside felt both familiar and new. Each person that left those doors was on their own journey, headed towards the next part of the day. In many ways I was the same person who had walked in, but changed at the same time.
Seeing Guernica was the fulfillment of a promise I made to myself in a time of confusion. Being there reminded me that finding oneself isn't about having all the answers, but instead setting the right intentions, taking the small steps and trusting that the pieces will fall into place.
Photo Credit: Ursula Vollmer
